I just came downstairs into my living room and knew that I needed to sit on the floor.
You see, there’s an unsettledness in me that needs to be brought out by being uncomfortable. Like when you have to cut open your finger to remove a splinter.
So here I sit. We’ll see how much blood it takes to get the splinter free.
I go through endless cycles from awareness & discomfort to numbness & comfort. The comfortable part is always so enticing.
You’ve had a long day, you don’t need to think/question/create/read, just relax. Open your laptop. Watch a movie.
Am I alone in this? Anybody?
But every once in a while, something knocks around inside my chest enough to wake me back up.
And the cycle begins again.
For at least 8 years now, I’ve been wondering if anyone actually ever changes. If I am capable of change. I wonder still.
Today I was awakened by the obvious word that I am failing completely in everything I want to accomplish as a musician.
I haven’t been playing much music because I feel like there’s nothing there to play.
I haven’t been saying much or writing much because I have nothing to say.
I don’t like saying those things, but it’s been said now. I don’t know what it means.
Sometimes you need a hopeful word, and sometimes you just need to sit on the floor.
I love you son – even when you are sitting on the floor. Sometimes feelings lie – there is music to be played and words to be said. Sometimes when I start to run “feelings” tell me to stop and go sit on the couch. But then in time I find my rhythm again and I am reminded why I love to run. So my advice is start to play, start to write and soon you will hit your stride and you will remember why you love them both. I’m not saying you should go run a marathon today, but just like getting back to running after you have been away for awhile, go for a jog around the block.
You’ve said it best, Dale. Wow … great post, Zach. Praying for you to get up off the couch and get back into your rythmn. I so understand trying to get back into your rythmn. Blessings to you & Christina! We can’t wait to see both of you again in a month! Love, Carol
Hey, Zach. While I was sitting at my laptop here in Clio, Michigan, finishing up some work for the day, I decided to listen to your “Aching Wings” album. The album is very dear to my wife Michelle and me. We met you in early 2009 shortly after Michelle’s mother had passed away. During that time I tried to keep her busy to take her mind off her sorrow. One day, after hearing a song of yours online we decided to drive to Grand Rapids to see you play at a bookstore. That day we got to meet you for the first time and we purchased “Aching Wings” and “Cracked Open” from you. Your music became an important part of our life’s soundtrack. So today as I was listening to “Aching Wings”, I thought I would check your website for the latest news. I’m sorry to hear you are going through a down time right now. I don’t have any brilliant advice or insight for you, other than to say that your music is important and matters to us here in the little town of Clio.
We hope to see you play again soon!
Tim & Michelle Puckett
Tim & Michelle,
Thanks so much for the kind words. I remember meeting you that night at Schuler Books, and wondering why you would drive so far to come see me play. You guys have always been incredibly encouraging and supportive, and I’m really thankful for that…
I’ll let you know the next time I’m headed toward MI to play!