My friend Dewey at Forty-One Fifteen Studio asked me if I’d send him a video of a song for his Homestyle Recordings series, with artists from all over recording themselves at home during this pandemic. None of my songs seemed right for the moment, so this is a new one.
I’ve long wondered if anything is purely one thing. It seems that each moment is a mixed bag: a joyful celebration dimmed by thoughts of the one who isn’t there to share it with you, grief lessened by another hand intertwined with yours, and so it goes.
Despair, anger, courage, fear, gladness–all pushing and pulling against one another throughout each day. And that feels more evident during this pandemic than any other time I can remember.
Nearly the entire world is waking each day to the same source of trauma, but it’s obvious that we each process it in a different way as our hearts, minds, and bodies try to make sense of what’s happening.
Lately I feel the gray numbness of each day being the same as the one before, with occasional waves of emotion that spill over without warning. Often, it feels like everything is falling apart. But “falling apart” is another thing that’s not just one thing. It’s terrifying and necessary and freeing.
This is a new song about all of this mess, and I hope it can be helpful to someone. We are not alone in our isolation, and we can be utterly alone surrounded by people we love. Both are true. Let’s be kind to ourselves and each other when we need to fall apart.